Cycle of negativity

I woke up really late today, after binging on caffeine on the night before, I ddin’t know that green tea had cafeine at the time, and was using green tea as a substitute for tea and coke which to fend off my caffeine addiction.

I woke up pissed off, and hating myself for waking up at 6pm, I then had breakfast and drank some regular tea, this helped ease my mood as well. I was pissed off staying in my room all day, which is a mess. I want to move out of my parents ASAP, but the cost of accomodation is holding me back.

I phoned up my best friend, and got fired up a lil because I made plans for tomorrow to hang out.

I got pissed off again because my my neck injury hasn’t healed back so I cant do and weight training or muay thai. I’m ating the bare minimum, and also getting a bit fat from the carb. I look and feel fat.

I’m pissed off right now because I’m trying to go to sleep, and fix my sleeping pattern, I’ve taken kalms sleep aid and some herbal tea (cafeine free) which aids sleep.

I’m pissed off right now because it’s 1am and there are people outside my room talking and I can hear everything so I can’t go to sleep.

I’ve had several negative thoughts today that made me feel down. I don’t know what to do with my life, I’m almost 25 years old, and I don’t have acareer, I’m just making enough money to survive.

I’m annoyed that C invites out my best friend to hang out and completely avoids me, I don’t know whether she’s blanking me on purpose or something.

My knee jerk reaction is to punish her, blank her, not give her attention, and cut her out of my life. I am jealous.

I saw a video of a guy chatting up a woman, and it brought up negative emotions in me, it felt like it was really shallow, it won’t last, and I’m not ready for this.

I’m writing this because I want to work on these issues tomorrow and sedona method on these.

I also need to do a positivity challenge for 10 days